I usually have difficulty completely enjoying myself at an Exodus conference. I never really knew why until this week. My lack of appreciation for forming new relationships based on our common brokenness, my fear of misrepresenting myself to others and my frustration with some workshops that don't appeal to my need for pertinent information all combine in different ways to push me into the usual role of silence and withdrawal.
Not this year! Coming to the conference, I was well aware of my possibly being attracted to someone--how would I handle this, would I be oppressed by it all week, would I be able to submit this to God quickly enough to enjoy my time here? I have had those times here. We are all attracted to various people; it is common to man. I took my thoughts captive to obedience of God's Word and received prayer and the power of the attraction lost it's power!
In addition to this, I asked Jesus how I would deal with these attractions and fears. His reply was both firm and loving, "You have to press through and fellowship with those around you."
I found myself at times reverting to sitting alone or just sitting by old friends for my own comfort's sake. However, Jesus has been faithful to remind me of this and His direction for me. So both at the cafeteria and in workshops and on the way to places, I am starting conversations with new people. Some of them have been more trying for me but all have been good for my soul.
I am grateful for God's faithfulness to me!
